Week Flying By!

Some weeks are like a blur, especially chemo weeks.  I get so exhausted and the fatigue is so much more than I could have expected, one day just runs into the next. 

Sometimes I even need to just look back at my calendar to see what I have done!  I just can't even remember.  Kind of sad. 

Saturday I spent the day on the sofa, napping on and off.  It was recovery day after the fun night out for the fundraiser.  Friday night really was a fun night.  As afraid of going as I was, it was good for me to get out, see friends and manage the "bald thing" with a crowd. 

It was obvious at the fundraiser which was for the Avon Breast cancer Walk, that I was going through chemo.  I mean, all dressed up and bald head.  But I didn't hide from it.  I was out there dancing my sore feet off and trying to catch my breath after each dance.  Of course, it might have been a little too much for me.  On Saturday I did notice a little swelling in my right arm.  Signs of lymphodema (since all the lymph nodes on my right side were taken, my body is still adjusting to "remapping" new ways to get access fluid out of my arm.  Joy!)

 Again though, Friday night was fun and worth me doing basically NOTHING on Saturday. 

Although, I did cook dinner for Jim and me that night.  I use the term "cook" loosely!  :)  We still have food in the freezer from the March Ellie Fund delivery for us.  AMAZING meals, all packaged up with cooking instructions.  No measuring or anything, just instructions of what to put where and for how long.  Easy peasy, even for me!  Saturday night delish!  Shrimp and pasta. 

Sunday was another long but fun day.  I had a Groupon from about a year and a half ago. It was originally due to expire on April 1st of last year for outdoor ice skating in Cambridge, but because last winter had no snow, they extended it to April 1st of this year.  Long story, but after one other attempt of ice skating around the time I bought the Groupon, and Jim still having scars on his legs (his fault for low socks on the night we were skating!), he refused to go again. 

I asked my friend Christine a month or so back if she wanted to go.  She had to cancel a few weeks back for a cold, but no worries.  Groupon was good until April 1st and its been freezing and below average temps in Boston anyway.  Yeah, not so easy! 

We drive into Kendall Square.  The skating place is CLOSED!  :( 

But all the way in Cambridge on an absolutely beautiful day?  So we drove a bit closer to Harvard Square, got an on street parking spot and hit one of Christine's favorite restaurants, Veggie Planet.  They had brunch going on and an acoustic set, like my "Coffee House" station on Sirius Satellite.  It was so much fun! 

Here's a cute shot Christine got of us. 

 

After we finished lunch, we walked around for a bit to a few stores.  Not too many though.  The car was only about a mile from right in Harvard Square too, so not too far.  It was just such a NICE day out!  Nice to be out and get some air.

 

Holy COW did it wipe me out!  I napped as soon as I got home! 

 

I did end up cooking dinner for me and Jim that night (taco night again, that's one I'm actually really good at!)

 

Monday my plan was to hit the YMCA, especially since I missed it the week earlier when Jim needed my car.  Um, NO. 

 

Sunday night I was in bed asleep before 10:30.  Up at 6:30 with the alarm, had my coffee and cereal.  I was back to sleep on the sofa by 8:30 and napped until 10:30.  I can't really remember what I did while I was awake from 10:30-12:30, but at 12:30, I didn't even try for the sofa.  I went back into bed! 

 

When Jim got home, Rocco heard the car door or Jim unlocking downstairs, not sure which.  But Rocco getting up and running around at 4:30 is what woke me up from my FOUR HOUR NAP!  And I was still in bed on Monday night before 11pm!  WOW! 

 

That made me realize that an every other day thing is not going to work for me.  It was a bit frustrating because the day before chemo is supposed to be my best day in the whole 2 week cycle!  But I took 2 naps for 6 hours?  Really?  What a waste.  Even though its what my body needed, it was still frustrating that I didn't and couldn't do anything else.  I just didn't have ANY energy at all. 

 

Tuesday morning Tracie was over bright and early to get my butt to chemo.  They changed it up this time.  Since I can't get the chemo IV in the crook of my elbow, and taking blood can compromise the veins in my arm for the blood return they need for some of my worst drug, they wanted to do a separate needle to draw blood on the "good" vein at the crook of my elbow. 

Needless to say, tears were involved.  I'm not good with the unexpected, especially on chemo day.  Poor Tracie was left in the waiting room for a while, when I left there to head to the exam room to see my oncologist.  I had to wait there for over 25 minutes!  WOW! 

 

But good news with that.  My numbers are great!  Normal white blood counts are in the 4000-11,000 range.  I was at 12,000, which is GREAT!  Next time I'm starting a different chemo cocktail (will be on Taxol only for the next four treatments), I will need to take 5 of the steroid pills the night before chemo and 5 more the morning of.  Then I'll also get more in my IV with the premeds.  She still wants me to go in for the shot to boost my immunity the following day as well. 

 

My oncologist doesn't want to stop that to chance my numbers dropping too low, pushing off chemo for a week, and then setting everything else back further, so for now, she'll keep me on the shot.  Because of that, she said she wouldn't be surprised if my numbers shot up to 20,000 in a month from now.  Hey, whatever, as long as I can keep on schedule, that works for me.

 

Next time will be rough too.  Not only starting a new drug with a new set of side effects and a new setup of the day, but my regular nurse Ashley who I LOVE is going to be on vacation that week! :(  Good for her and all, she deserves it, but OH NO!  Hopefully things will go smoothly with Ann that week.

Anyway, back to Tuesday.  Tracie was great.  She distracted me when I was getting my IV which SUCKS put into my arm.  And Christine popped over to visit while I was getting my pre-meds.  She was still there when Carrie stopped in during her lunch break, but Christine had to get back for a meeting. 

 

Tracie and Carrie were so funny both distracting me when Ashley had to put in the 2nd IV of the day and take out the first.  They talked faster, louder and leaned in closer to me!  But it was SO nice and really really made a HUGE difference.  Even though my eyes were almost popping out of my head. 

Have I mentioned I HATE needles?  How the hell did I get 5 tattoos??  If I suck at just getting an IV??  

 

Wednesday morning I had a bit of energy.  Measured the back room to try to figure out how much of everything I am going to need.  Then I headed off to my support group, first time I made one the day after chemo.  But I'm glad I went, we won't have group next week, so in case I'm not up to it in 2 weeks, I'd rather not miss 3 weeks in a row.  I do get a lot out of it, being around so many who "get" it. 

 

After that, I stopped at D'Angelos to meet someone from work for a quick lunch before I had to head over to the cancer center for my immunity boost shot. 

 

I barely made it home before I was out napping on the sofa.  That was all TOO much for me the day after chemo.  Jim called on his way home from work and that's what woke me up.  My plan had been to start dinner while he was driving home, so it would be ready for him shortly after he was home.  HA HA HA!  Not so much.  HE was the one who started dinner when he got home.  At least I was able to finish the cooking and set the table and all that.  And dinner was good.

 

I was a bit stressed last night... too many things on my mind again.  The what if's and all that.  Someone from the support group, who joined around when I did, she's not doing well.  Hospice is now involved and they don't expect her back to group.  That's just sad. 

 

Two others in group both originally had breast cancer.  They have each had cancer 2 more times since their originally diagnosis.  One just did crazy strong radiation, 3 treatments over 3 weeks and super fatigue with it.  All for a cancerous spot that was found on her spine. 

 

Is this what my life will be like forever?  Anything that happens, any cold, cough, muscle ache, anything.... I'll just automatically assume and associate with cancer?  Is it related or not?  Will it be a recurrence? 

So it was a tough night.  All of that was on my mind and I was telling Jim about it while I was laying on the sofa. 

 

Again, he's just SO good.  He said, "Come on Baby.  Let's go into the bedroom and I can just give you a big hug." 

 

So he held me, let me cry and he said he wished that I didn't have to go through all of this.  Me too!  And I wish HE didn't have to go through all of this either! 

 

But that was all last night.  Today is a new day. 

 

He's working from home this morning (flat tire on his car right now).  I'm leaving in a few, if I get off my butt, to try to get to kickboxing today for the 10am class. 

 

Then when I get home, he'll take his tire in the back of my car to the place down the street from his office, so they can fix it while he's at work.  And I'll most likely be home napping. 

 

Fingers crossed I can handle kickboxing today. But the exercise helps.  Doing things I LOVE to do help too. 

 

I'm staying positive and hoping for a great day!