The second half of this week has been great.  I needed this so much.  It reminded me about how many wonderful people I have in my life and all that I am grateful for.  I've known now many people I really do have, but sometimes its hard to see that when things get rough or when I get down & have a few bad days in a row. 

Wednesday was pretty busy with the support group (they gave us the prettiest daffodils that were given to them from the American cancer Society, all have now bloomed and are SO pretty!), then I met with  my social worker, plus saying hi at the Patient Resource's room at Dana Farber.  Debbie is amazing!

Debbie is one of the nicest people I have ever met. She is so kind and giving. One of those people you can tell anything too, who won't judge and is just supportive and NICE. I had told her about the email from hell last time, so she asked about that and how I was doing. I told her about my anxiety for Friday (she wants to know how the party goes).

I had on one of the hats that she had given me before. Community groups donate hand knitted hats, lap blankets, pillows (for breast surgery to put between your chest and the seat belts. I sleep with mine too, still! She gives 2 pillows to each person.) She pointed out that she got some new Spring hats that were in the window. OMG they were SO cute! She had a white hat with a purple flower and another off white with a purple bow. They were adorable. I didn't want to take 2 more hats from her   But she wouldn't let me leave without them. She told me she would throw them out if I didn't take them. :)

I felt guilty taking 2 of the cutest ones there. She wouldn't hear of it. She said they looked great on me and she wanted me to have them. How nice is that? I wore the white one home.

On my way home, I stopped at Home Depot and walked around for a while.  I'm going to become very good friends with everyone there.  Glad there is one less than a mile from the house! 

I think I came home with at least 20 different cards for paint colors.  I even found light switch face plates that I want plus the new closet doors I want to get.  I have it planned out in my mind, roughly, what I want the room to end up looking like, but I'll have to start looking for furniture that I can fix up too. 

Jim was in that room with me on Wednesday afternoon.  Both him and I agreed on a blue that we liked for the room.  We'll start by taking out the furniture to clear out the room.  Not sure where everything will end up being stored for the time being... between the attic and the cats apartment I guess.  Then I can start sanding down the walls and patching the couple of holes before the ceiling guy starts.  Then it is ALL on my time, when I feel good and have the energy to do things.

I'm looking forward to doing all of this.  It will be a blast.  I'll have to take pictures for before, during and after.  Right now, those walls are just HORRIBLE.  The green is NASTY.  And forget the border that is half down.  Its just not pretty. 

Then onto Thursday. 

I MADE IT BACK TO KICKBOXING!!!!  Finally!  It was SO much fun!  Of course I tweaked my back.  Not the top which I had a bulging disc.  Not the bottom where my SI joint was out.  But the middle, right in the area of my bra strap.  It was from the round were we were doing back to back hooks.  I could feel it go. 

But other than taking it easy from a few things, not doing plank or mountain climbers or burpies, I did pretty well and held my own.  It was nice to get in some punches and kicks on the bag too. 

A couple of minutes after I got there, someone I have partnered with so many times, and I'm friends with on Facebook, showed up, walked over to me and gave me a hug.  Marlene was wearing a shirt of hers that's my favorite (come to find out she has 3 shirts that say the same thing!)  Right across the front in BIG letters it says, "Kickboxing Grandma!"  She rocks it!  Such an inspiration to see.  She told me she's turning 60 this year!  How great is that?

And after class started and Heather had us already sweating out butts off, Master Xavier, the owner, walked in.  He came right up to me, yelled "JULIE!  Julie's Back!!"  And gave me a big hug.  It was so nice to have that sort of reaction and to feel so welcome there.  I missed it so much. 

During class, Master Xavier kept yelling out my name and saying things about me to the whole class.  Marlene laughed and said it was like I was a celebrity. :)  I love them all there and I'm really looking forward to when I can take my next class. 

After class I grabbed my phone and has Master Xavier take a picture of me as I was trying to hold a Roundhouse kick.  Right after the picture, I almost fell over!  Not great with balance on a good day.

I posted this on Facebook and made it my profile picture too.  I got so many incredible comments from people that were so supportive and encouraging. 


Then Master Xavier posted this on the kickboxing's private Facebook page with this comment:  

Here she is back in action. For our new members who have not met Julie Orsillo, there's no doubt she's going to kick cancer's ...! Especially if you see power of her roundhouse. She won the $3,000 from the referral contest last year but this year she's on a bigger mission. Great to have you on the mat Juls.

 

After I was done with the amazing class, I headed home.  I had another doctor's appointment that afternoon, then met a friend at the mall after a quick stop at one other store.  It was really nice to catch up with Melissa again while we walked around the mall, had dinner, then each did our Target shopping. 

Poor Jim didn't end up going to the gym that night.  He thought he was fighting a cold for a couple of days and it did end up hitting him.  He was watching a movie in the back office.  He didn't want to be on the sofa in the living room because he didn't want me to get his germs.  He even ended up sleeping on the futon back there!  Poor guy!  But Rocco joined him, so I had the king sized bed to myself all night.  Got some much needed solid sleep. 

Friday morning I was SO slow to get moving.  I was drained from the day before and just couldn't get my butt into gear.  I was supposed to meet my friend Jen 45 minutes away at 11am.  At 10 I was still sitting on the sofa in my PJ's.  She was so great about it and offered to just drive all the way down to me (maybe an hour and 15 minutes away?).  I'm not tossing her under the bus here with her crazy detour but that area of 93/95/128 is pretty confusing.  Not sure where else in the world you would be driving and heading north and south at the same time. 

Anyway... we had a great lunch and hung out and talked for a while.  It was great to catch up and be able to freely talk about how I feel on different things with someone who understands where I am coming from.  Plus, she gave me a great pep talk about going out on Friday night! 

Which leads me up to last night.  It was SO much fun!  I wasn't expecting to have that much of a good time and I'm glad I did.  It was nice to be out with friends and have fun and slightly forget all the crap that's been going on in my life.  I felt like me again and it was nice.  Refreshing. 

Lately, I haven't been feeling great about myself.  I've lost so much of my self esteem and confidence.  I have scars on my body.  I'm bald.  I've gained 15 pounds now and even my fat jeans are tight.  It sucks.  I feel nasty.  I wanted to feel good and thought if I felt better about how I looked, it would be easier to do that. 

SO I bought myself a new dress for last night.  And shoes... and a necklace.... and earrings.  But, it was ALL so cheap!  The total of all of that was only $68!  Not bad, right?  And I love the dress too.  SO cute. 

I had already made the decision to go bald.  I was seeing people I knew there.  They knew I lost my hair already.  And if I went in with a wig, they would know it was a wig and know I was bald underneath.  For me, that's harder.  I am more comfortable wearing a wig out at a mall with complete strangers than I am with people I know.  That's hard and I haven't done it yet. 

Anyway... I was nervous about going into the party like that.  After all, this was the Betty Boobs fundraising party.  They are doing the Avon Breast cancer Walk, which is two days and 39 miles.  They have to raise $7000 for the two person team.  And here I would be, walking into this breast cancer fundraiser... bald.  I needed the rest of me look good. 

I met 2 friends to go to the party with them, which I appreciate SO much.  That way I didn't have to walk in alone.  We scoped out the tables and got the one right in front of the bar.  Easy to figure out when to get a drink!  :) 

We ended up with 8 of us at our table.  It was fun to see everyone.  My friend John came down from NH.  He has done the Pan Mass Challenge for several years now and has lost so may people to various types of cancer.  He's such a great guy.  He's met a bunch of my friends from different 5K events too.  Plus, he's an AMAZING dancer... used to compete nationally.  So good!  He can make anyone look good on the dance floor. 

Karen, who hosted the party, stood up before the raffle began to thank some of the sponsors who donated time and raffle prizes for the event.  Then she made most at our table cry.  We were all reaching for napkins.  She said how she started running 5K by doing a couch to 5K program several years ago.  How because of that, she finished her first 5K, plus many more and even 10Ks now.  Then she said, this person also started as a couch, but within a couple of years ran the Boston Marathon.  Then mud runs, diva runs and more.  And she said she was dedicating this years walk to her, she knows who she is. 

I can't even remember what else she said.  I was trying SO hard not to cry.  It was really sweet and touching.  I'm sure everyone in the entire hall knew it was me.  I mean, I was the only women in there who was bald, so it was kind of obvious! 

During the night, a few people I didn't know came up to me.  One knew one of my friends and asked me if my name was Julie.  She has been to the same kickboxing studio and saw the picture of me that Master Xavier posted.  She said she had liked the photo on Facebook.  She had heard about me, being the national winner of the referral contest last year and loved the picture. She thought it was great that I was back at kickboxing now. 

Someone else who was selling some of the raffle tickets came up to me to tell me that I looked beautiful.  She was sweet about it too.  I could see her eyes teary and it was very genuine and sweet.  I really appreciated it, needed it and it was just so nice of her. 

Before we were leaving another person came up to us to tell me and John that we looked great on the dance floor.  Him and I danced for maybe 5 west coast swing dances together.  It was so much fun to try doing that again.  But it left me WIPED OUT!  My heart was racing and I had a hard time catching my breath after each one.  I wouldn't have changed it, because it was a blast, but WOW, I feel it.  Talk about being out of shape! 

We kicked butt on the raffles and prizes.  They first announced Tracie's birthday and had the hall since her happy birthday (it had been on Sunday).  Then Liz won the door prize.  Tracie got one of the silent auction prizes too.  And with the raffle?  We started off slow, but ended up becoming one of those tables in the end.  I got "date night in" with gift certificates for 2 free pizzas plus a bottle of wine I took home.  Tracie won the Lux Level movie tickets plus the Joe's gift certificate.  Jen got the bottle of champagne.  Carrie took home a Golfer's Warehouse gift certificate and Christine won the set of Dr. Seuse books.  I think Jill and John were the only 2 at our table who didn't win anything last night. 

I was home around 11:30 last night, and exhausted.  My feet were killing me from wearing brand new shoes, plus dancing in them (but they were so damn cute!).  Jim slept on the sofa last night to keep away from me again and hopefully he'll be feeling better by the end of today. 

Between the pictures I took last night and the few my friends have already posted on facebook, here are a few....





Here is Christine, me and Carrie towards the beginning of the night.

 

These two are of me and my friend John.  John said we've known each other for 15 years.  I'm not sure exactly, but I do remember that I first went to a West Coast Swing lesson with him and his ex-girlfriend in early 2001, so it has been at least 12 years now.  

 

Christine did take my camera when we were dancing but they didn't end up coming out great of us when blown up.  But that's okay.  :)

 

 

 

 

Before dinner, Jen, Carrie, Liz and Christine are all drinking their wine out of the little plastic cups the bar gave us.  At least they gave us single serving sized bottles of wine with the plastic cups!

Here is one of Jen and Christine hanging out.  Jen's bottle of champagne is in the shot too!  

 

 

This is a cute one of me with Tracie.  I think this was the 3rd try.  I can still do okay shots that I'm in but it came out much better when I passed my camera across the table! 











And here is the whole table.  Jill, Carrie, Tracie, Liz, me squishing down, John and Christine.  It was a really fun night and I'm so glad I went.