It was hard to prepare when I didn't know what I was preparing for. I had no how I was going to be feeling after surgery. I'm better than I thought.
Every day I'm exhausted and need a nap. I woke up today around 6:30am. My friend Michelle was over around 7 for Jim to go to work. I was up all morning and basically pissing Michelle off since I wouldn't sit still. She thought me laying on the recliner with my lap top on me wasn't resting!
I have someone lift anything too heavy for me, open the heavy low freezer drawer, get me glasses or plates from the higher cabinets along with anything else on shelves above my shoulders (okay, so on ANY shelf). Jim even made me my coffee today because I couldn't lift my arms high enough.
Michelle complained to the nurse today just as Jim did yesterday... that I'm doing too much. But moving around is good for me. Gets everything flowing and I can heal faster. That's why I made Michelle go for a walk with me today. It felt great to get out.
When we got back, the mail came and so did a delivery. Cousin's on dad's side, the Maiullari "girls" sent over a beautiful arrangement. LOVE it. Jen and Jeff sent over a great English breakfast of goodies... scones, English muffins, coffees, SO yummy looking! That will be breakfast for a few days. :)
The next package was a bit confusing. First from Jen and Jeff, then from Jeff and Jen. First was my friend Jen and her boyfriend Jeff. Second took me a minute to realize, my brother Jeff and his girlfriend Jen. They sent me the cutest pajama-gram! Adorable! Can't wait for them to be washed so I can wear them.
Jim was home from work shortly after that. He had a huge back from the office filled with food. Frozen Turkey Chili,, HUGE container! Some baked ziti and Chicken Parm, Marcela's incredible Mac & Cheese, and some chocolate chip cookies that I can't stop eating!
Also today, I got a call from the Ellie Fund. My social worker had put in an application for me. They approved the meal deliveries, Dish and Deliver. So they will be delivering 8 meals each for February and March and each meal serves 2-3 people. I got the February menu to pick from and some look so good!
They also approved me for home cleaning services, four times for 3 hours each time! What a HUGE relief. I got an email from them as well today asking some info about the house and what I would need. Kitchen, floor and bathroom is PERFECT!! Maybe even washing the sheets for me too. Less on Jim and a HUGE help for me.
My social worker also put me in for a grocery gift card. She has to see how many people applied for that but knew she could do the other 2 now so she didn't want to hold those up.
I'm still waiting to hear back about the Komen Foundation. I was put in for that for a $200 grant that I could use towards anything. That would be such a huge help!
And that's another thought I had today. I had the news on tonight on Channel 4 and they did a story. It was about how medical costs, even with insurance, can be so high. Fundraising websites are expanding for personal fundraising to assist people with these type of expenses. If you want to see the story, here's the link:
http://boston.cbslocal.com/2013/01/14/crowdfunding-being-used-more-often-for-medical-costs/
Well, that got me thinking about my medical expenses since my company benefit year started on July 1st through today as well as what I have expected in the future. When our plan year started, I did my eflex spending account again, for $1200 for July 1, 2012- June 30, 2013. The $1200 was gone in November. (remember I had MRI's, xrays, multiple appointments and wrist surgery in September, BEFORE cancer was something to think about!)
Since then? Since cancer? Since Fertility Preservation?
EFlex card GONE $1200.00
CVS (copays, med equip, etc) $220.00
Fertility Drug Copays $240.00
Dr. Appt office visits (pd or owe) $1775.00
Total: $3435.00
Of that almost $3500, I currently owe just over $1500 in copays to date (including the 2 egg retrieval day surgeries at $250 each plus the bilateral mastectomy inpatient stay copay of $500).
I have been trying to keep up with everything, but Dana Farber hasn't charged me copays in advance. I've only gotten billed for a few and I haven't paid those yet. I want to be very clear about what I'm paying for and have detailed records of what insurance is paying and what I owe which amount to.
With the current daily prescriptions I take, that's $75/month for those prescription copays. Plus another $250 when the expanders are swapped out for the permanent implants. $25 for each office visit (minus the next 3 months with the 2 surgeons I had since that's covered under follow up for 90 days after surgery). That will be $25 each time I have chemo since I'll be seeing the medical oncologist each time, plus the appointment I have with her this month and I'm sure at least one after chemo is done... so just to be even, say 10 visits with her for $250.
That's no other medications, no other copays or doctor visits. So conservative figures? I'm guessing through the end of August I'll have another $3000 plus in out of pocket medical expenses.
Toss in all the equipment, clothes and whatnot I bought in preparation for surgery (alert sleeve, pj's, slippers, etc), the books I bought about breast cancer, then other expenses in general as well. My car insurance went up over $200 for 3 months because I moved in with Jim into his city from where I was! I'm going to be on short term disability which is only 66% pay and I'll have to pay back work for any benefits that they cover for me when/if I don't have a paycheck to cover my premiums. My share of my insurance benefits? Over $400/month. For Medical, Dental, Eye and Short-Term disability alone. Nothing else is part of that $400/month.
I can't expect Jim to financially support me during this as well physically and emotionally supporting me with all that he has done. I am determined to continue to pay my way, whatever it is going to take. And I'm sure Dana Farber will be fine with slower payments on all of what I'll owe them, especially since they don't charge me anything when I'm physically there anyway.
But because my after insurance out of pocket expense will be another $3000 with me already owing over $1500 now? I am really considering opening up my own GoFundMe fundraising page. I hate asking for help. HATE it. But with less money coming in and more going out that I just can't control, even with not paying rent anymore, if I DIDN'T give Jim any money, I would STILL be behind.
But I'm nervous about it. I hate asking. I hate needing help and hate being weak. I don't like handouts. So right now I'm just conflicted. I'm looking into it and reading up on the website for GoFundMe. The costs are minimal to me. 2.9% plus $0.30 is taken out of each transaction made.
What are thoughts on this? It is worth is? Once I have a page up and approved, then have $100 posted, my page would become searchable on their site. That means that people I don't know would also have access to it.
I don't know. I'm on the fence. I can't decide what I want to do. I'd love to hear thoughts on this!!!
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