Sleepy

This week I had so many different things planned to do.  At this point, I have realized it does not matter one bit what I plan.  My body might have other plans, like sleep, which is all I seem to be doing. 

The days this week are somewhat of a blur, since I haven't done much.  I left the house Monday for a massage appointment but skipped two other things on Monday.  As soon as I got home, I was back in sweats on the sofa.  And that was after sleeping in until about 9am. 

Monday night, bed around midnight, and I didn't get up until 10:45!  Yes, I slept for 11 hours.  And somehow still did not have any energy.  I skipped two things I wanted to do yesterday.  I think the most I did all day was shower. 

After showering, I found the energy to pull the hammock out of the closet and bring it downstairs and out to the back yard where I had set up the stand on Sunday.  I was laying on that for a few hours, in the shade, covered up and wearing sunscreen.  Rocco was hanging out next to me and making his way back and forth around the yard.  My little (okay, not so little) buddy!

Here are a couple shots of him hanging out with me yesterday afternoon.

He's right next to the hammock, hanging out with me.   

 

 

I love how he sits on the back steps!   

 

 

 

Last night, I was home hanging out as usual.  Jim goes to the gym on Monday, Tuesday and Thursday nights.  I was so tired, I couldn't have gone anywhere if I wanted to.  I think I ended up going to bed around 11 last night.

 

This morning I was up with Jim when he got up at 7.  I had a cup of coffee and a bowl of cereal and put on the morning news while I checked some email and did a few things on my computer.  By 9:30 I was back in bed.  I briefly woke up around 11:30 or 12 to cancel lunch plans with someone from work.  I finally woke up and got back out of bed just before 1pm. 

 

What's up with all this sleeping?  I'm friggin exhausted ALL the time.  I have absolutely no energy at all.  Yup, things need to go up in the attic.  Yup, there are clothes which have been sitting in the dryer since yesterday that need to come up.  Yup, clean dishes in the dishwasher.  Some family is coming down tomorrow night to visit.  I probably SHOULD start picking up the house a bit, but I just don't have any energy to move!  NONE. 

 

Right now, I don't even have the energy to shower and I kind of wanted to do that before Jim gets home from work in about an hour.  I told him I'd cook dinner tonight since this is his one weeknight that he's home and we can spend some time together.  I always look forward to Wednesday nights. 

 

I hope that I end up having some energy so tonight I will be awake. 

 

Right now, I don't know if its the new drug, the extreme fatigue, a new kind of acceptance or what it is that I'm dealing with.  I just know that I have to listen to my body and what it tells me.  When I'm tired, I have to accept that and rest or sleep.  I have to be okay with that, which is hard when I want to do so many other things.  

 

It is so hard to NOT do.  I'm a doer!  I remember one friend asking me more than once what my typical day was like.  She didn't understand how I had the time to do everything that I was doing and still work and sleep too.  But I always loved being busy and running around.  I was at my best when I was on the go. 

 

Now I've had to stop.  Not just slow down, but STOP.  And that is really hard to do and accept.  Even now, after sleeping 8 hours last night, then a 3 1/2 hour nap today, I could go back to sleep right now!  How is that even possible? 

 

So I am accepting that I can no longer DO as I have in the past.   I guess having Rocco as my companion is a good thing.  He follows me from the bed to the sofa or outside by the hammock.  Right now he is on the other side of the sofa with his head on that arm, watching what is on the TV, about to fall back to sleep.  He gets his little burst of energy then lays back down to rest and sleep.  LOVE him! 

 

 

Now I need to give two thank yous out for today. 

 

First to Jill.  Since I have been so completely exhausted, plus with the pain in my legs, organizing the Couch to 5K has been next to impossible.  I made it to the first one last week and that was it.  I had every intention of going last Wednesday night, Monday night and even tonight.  But I know that tonight there is NO way I will move.  Again.... unshowered after 3:30pm and its too much effort to think about showering right now! 

 

Jill has completely stepped up, offering to run the events for me when I can't make it.  I am SO grateful to her for this.  I appreciate it so much.  This fitness group has meant so much to me over the years, especially the Couch to 5K events.  I am glad that they can continue on while I'm not up for being there myself.  It means the world to me that Jill is doing this.

 

SO Jill, THANK YOU!!!

 

And today, another big thank you to give out (funny part, I'm not sure if either of these 2 read this blog or not, but I'm so appreciative that I need to give the shout out either way.  Maybe it will get back to them that I am specifically thanking them, since the un-named venting seems to go around so quickly). 

 

2nd thank you is to Jen O.  She has continued to send me so many cards, texts, emails and messages over the months.  She has been so sweet, thoughtful and kind always.  Today in addition to the nicest card, she sent the MOST AMAZING brownies and God knows I have sweet tooth!  I had one already and it was incredible!  The card with the brownies was "Have a sweet day".  How nice is that? 

 

Jen is such a great person.  She's one of those people who you are so unbelievably happy for when good things happen for them.  She bought a house last summer and her boyfriend proposed on Valentine's Day this year.  Her new position at work is finally coming together too and she just picked a date for her wedding next year.  And he is such a great guy too.  I'm just so happy for her. 

 

Yes, I'm a dork about it, but that's okay.  She deserves to be this happy.  She's always so sweet and so kind to everyone.  Always. 

 

There are so many others who have been so wonderful to me, who I am so grateful for as well.  I love the facebook messages and comments so much.  All the encouragement in this journey really makes a big difference for me, so a giant thank you to all of you... the too many to mention.  I appreciate the support so much. 

 

 

One final shot of Rocco to share.  We set up the mats I got Jim for Christmas under the window in the kitchen and put Rocco's bed on it.  Now he can sit there, look out the window and rest his head on the window sill.  But lazy boy also likes to nap on that bed under the window, in the sunlight.  I guess I can't blame him.  He's back to sleep over there now, after I just snapped this picture.  I love how the sun light is coming in around him!