I can't believe it has been almost 2 weeks since I posted last. Been busy!
The whole week after the hearing, I was SO busy. I was online, messaging people, getting the Facebook page going, and trying to get more and more support from everyone for House Bill 1050. I really think it is just so important.
Somehow it has all moved along. I've now been put in charge of the Facebook page. And that's not a problem for me. But I just have to make sure I stay on top of it to keep the reach going. Plus, I got my list of things I'm supposed to work on as well for the next few weeks.
I did pretty well for the few days after the hearing, energy-wise anyway. But by the weekend, I CRASHED! I drove up to my parents house last Saturday to drop something off and ended up taking a 2 hour nap while I was there! Crazy.
This whole week has been more of that. Not sure what is going on. I've been sleeping in, napping, and getting full nights of sleep each night. Tuesday night I got 8 hours of sleep and was up with Jim when he got up around 6:30am. I was back to sleep by 8am and slept until 1pm! Yeah, I was supposed to go into Boston for a meeting with the team that day. Didn't happen. I was out of it all afternoon too.
Thursday I slept in as well. My friend Jennifer (LOVE YOU!) came down as my chauffeur for the day. Nice little 90 minute drive each way to take me to one appointment! I'm lucky for her friendship. She's amazing. :)
BUT... Thursday wasn't easy. Jennifer took the ride for me while I had another test done. Another biopsy. This one is for cervical cancer. Joy.
The gynecologic oncologist wants to make sure she has everything done and ready for my surgery on Columbus Day. Although when she started the test, she didn't see any abnormal cells, she decided to do a biopsy anyway. If anything come back, she can do it all while I'm in surgery and already under anesthesia. Luckily, the biopsy wasn't as bad as I had expected. It wasn't as deep as they typically are (since she didn't see anything), so it wasn't as much tissue taken. I was still uncomfortable all night and into Friday, but not like it would have been for a typical biopsy.
After the biopsy, she went over everything for the surgery on Columbus Day... 16 days. WOW. Scary. And yes, I am scared. Another freakin surgery. General anesthesia. She said the incision will be in my belly button, but she will have 2 smaller incisions on one side and that is where the camera will be. The 2 smaller ones are 5mm, and the belly button one is 11mm. Okay, I can do this.
I'm doing my best to not freak out. I want to stay positive and not automatically go to the 5% chance that she'll find cancer when she does this surgery. In the case that she does, she'll need to do more biopsies in surrounding tissue as well as testing the lymph nodes. And whatever else could have cancer, she'll take that too.
IF there is cancer, IF it is aggressive (grade 3), even if it is didn't spread to anything (including not spread to lymph nodes), I would need chemo again. That is the one thing that keeps going over and over in my mind... just as my hair looks like I did this on purpose, just as I'm starting to feel a teeny tiny bit better about myself, I could need to start chemo again. Wonderful!
Not going there in my mind is not easy. I'm trying, but it isn't easy. Keeping busy has helped, plus its in a different month. Even though it is 2 weeks from Monday, my calendar is still on September, so nothing in October is high on my list. Not sure what I'll do next week on Tuesday when it flips, but I'll deal with that then.
What else?
Mostly same old same old. Mostly fatigue, where I'm sleeping 12 hours a day. Still have neuropathy too. Hoping that gets better soon.
Jim is amazing. He's been making a huge noticeable effort and has been a huge comfort to me as I stressed about this recent biopsy, waiting on the results and then the upcoming surgery. I really could not have gotten through all of this if I didn't have him in my life. I'm lucky for that.
So now moving on and moving ahead. Hoping for less fatigue. Hoping for less neuropathy. Hoping to have energy to exercise, to work out and to hopefully start to lose weight too!
Feeling like I have a purpose to put into the density bill has been really helpful. I've done well with that, when I have the energy to put into it.
I've come a very long way in the past few weeks, as far as my self esteem. I'm doing so much better than I was just one month ago. I'm positive that I can keep that going, especially as I get more energy and try to exercise more too.
Friends... I'm still just so lucky. I have great people. A HUGE thank you to all of you who have helped me so much. Now I'm just trying to pay it forward somehow.
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